Doctor Arthur
by The Vampire Alchemist
Summary: Amanda Jones could never accept the fact that the Doctor didn't have a name, so before every one of their adventures, she came up with a new one. Fem!America, Time Lord!England. Future pairings? It's possible.


"You look like an Arthur."

The Doctor looked up at the sunny American woman from across the TARDIS controls.

"What?"

"I said you look like an Arthur."

The Doctor had travelled with many interesting people in his long life. Sarah Jane Smith had been one of his favorites. Not that he normally picked favorites, but she managed to pop up in his life again and again. Rose Tyler had been a fun, lively woman. Her mother Jackie had been a handful and a half. Mickey Smith had a heart of gold that he had retained, even after all the things he had done to him. Captain Jack Harkness… he really didn't want to go there. Martha Jones had been a sweet girl with big plans for her future, only to have them veer off in a completely different direction after meeting the Doctor. Donna Noble, a snarky, sharp attitude and even sharper mouth who had saved the entire universe and would never even remember it. Amy Pond, the girl who waited and her down-to-earth husband Rory. River Song, possibly the most infuriating woman he had ever met.

Amanda Jones, however, was in a category all her own. The Doctor sometimes wondered if Rose, Martha, and Donna had all donated their DNA to create this woman before him.( Which would've been a plausible theory, had she not been born in Virginia in 1992.) She had Martha's big dreams, Donna's smart mouth, and Rose's adventurous spirit. She was rather tall for a woman; 5'11" with blonde, bouncy shoulder-length hair, startling blue eyes, and a thousand-watt smile that probably belonged in Hollywood. She may have had her idiotic moments, but the Doctor never took on a companion that wasn't clever. And oh, was Amanda clever. Far cleverer than people gave her credit, the Doctor included. When he had first met her, he hadn't had a high opinion of her, but she had surprised him immensely with how she had handled the situation they had found themselves in; the kind of situations that he always seemed to end up in when he met his companions.

"How can I look like an Arthur? I've had 11 different faces before this one!"

"Yeah, your last face looked like a Matthew face*, and this one looks like an Arthur face."

The Doctor scowled and took a glance in a mirror conveniently placed on the circular controls. For some reason, he was more self-conscious about this regeneration than the others. It was probably those thick eyebrows. He'd already gotten plenty of comments from other people (mostly Amanda and River, though) that they looked like fuzzy caterpillars glued to his face. Or it could be the fact that he was considerably shorter than he had been in a long time. Amanda was tall for a woman, true, but the Doctor himself was usually in the 6 foot range. These days, he was 5'8". Amanda towering over him was one thing, but River Song having a height advantage over him was downright humiliating. Or it could be the fact that his hair was a bright butter blonde this time around. Resolutely. Not. Ginger. Yet. Again.

She never seemed satisfied that she didn't know his true name either. And since he refused to tell her, she took to making up names for him. In the past, she'd come up with David**, Johnny, Thomas, Mickey, Scott, Christopher***, Bruce, Ethan, Matthew, even Francis. The Doctor had shuddered at that one. He'd met a Francis once, Francis Bonnefoy, and he swore the man had to be Jack Harkness's ancestor.

"Of all the exotic names in the universe, you pick one like Arthur?" He said, motioning to the controls he wanted her to man.

Amanda shrugged, walking over to the specific buttons and levers. "It's incredibly British."

The Doctor's scowl deepened further. He seemed to wear more scowls these days than smiles. Amanda often likened him to a bristly old man with a 25 year old's face. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well," Amanda drawled. "You're supposed to be from some ancient planet, trillions of miles away from Earth, and yet you've got a British accent."

"Have you ever thought that maybe the British have Gallifreyan accents?" The Doctor glanced at his monitor and jerked a lever to the side, making the TARDIS veer violently to the right. Close one; they'd almost knocked into the 23rd century. Too many spoilers for the boisterous American to see there, no matter what decade they landed in.

"Ooo! Snappy today, are we?" She grinned widely at him. "Are we PMSing or are we just upset about running into River again?"

Their last little adventure had involved Sontarans and River Song, two things in the universe that annoyed him an awful lot.

"Bloody hell, I still can't quite believe I'm married to that woman."

Amanda threw up her head and laughed. "Man, what must she think about you? Running around time and space with another woman; I'm surprised she hasn't asked for a divorce yet."

"She gets far too much glee out of being my wife to ever want one, and besides, divorce is only something they do on Earth."

Amanda's head snapped up. "You're kidding me."

The Doctor shook his head. "Not kidding. You've really got Henry the VIII to thank for that. Not that he's the one who invented divorce, but he certainly helped make it popular, and yet you people on Earth remember him more for the wives he beheaded."

"Well, _Anne of a Thousand Days_, _The Other Boleyn Girl_, _The Tudors_…" Amanda grabbed onto the control center's bar as they were jarred violently again.

"Exactly my point. Earthlings in your time who don't know any better go around saying that Henry Tudor beheaded all six of his wives, when really he only beheaded two of them. Because of this fixation with those two, historians eventually came to believe that divorce was synonymous with beheading. Your time period is remembered as one of the most brutal, merciless eras, with your divorce rate of over 50%. For that matter, tanning beds are also thought to be torture devices, Shark Week is remembered as a pagan religion, the Hunger Games is a nick-name for the Olympics, and Lady Gaga is thought to be a sort of mutant who was legitimately the mother of a sub-species of humans that were named "monsters" and then hunted to extinction. Why else would they have called her 'Mother Monster'? Also, tumblr is remembered as a language that broke off from the English language, and…" The Doctor trailed off, staring into space. "What were we talking about originally?"

Amanda giggled almost uncontrollably. "River Song."

The Doctor's face twisted into a grimace. "Let's not go back to that, shall we? So! As I was saying -"

"Why do you do that?" Amanda cut him off abruptly. "Cringe whenever we talk about her? Before you regenerated, you talked about her like she was an old friend."

"Well, she is an old friend…frienemy…acquaintance…person I know…"

"Who you're also married to."

The Doctor shrugged. "I once got married to Queen Elizabeth I, Cleopatra, and Catherine the Great. All of them on accident. It happens."

"Oh, you just gotta have your hands in everything, don't you?"

"Do I detect a sexual innuendo?"

"Whatever you say, Artie."

"Oh," the expression on his face was as if someone had told him ketchup was a smoothie. "Please, don't ever call me that again."

* * *

So, there you have it! The first drabble in this series! A bit short, I know, but it's what I've got for you guys right now.

I chose the name Amanda for Fem!America because the name Amelia was already taken by Amy Pond and I didn't want people to get confused.

*Matt Smith is the name of the actor who plays the 11th Doctor

**David Tennant is the 10th Doctor

***Christopher Eccleston is the 9th Doctor


End file.
